Agony Uncle…

This is where PuppyKilla hands out advice that only a man can give.  I’ll take a problem from an agony aunt page in the paper and replace the advice with what really should have been said.  Screw you Deidre, your advice is shit.  This comes from yesterday’s copy of The Sun.

Dear PuppyKilla,

I have been having wild sex with my mate’s mum.  Could a relationship work?  She was always flirting with me when I was in my teens but I ignored her.  If I ran into her in town she used to ask me to give her lifts home and would always give me a suggestive cuddle and peck on the lips to thank me.

I’m 22 now and she’s 42.  She got in touch again through Facebook.  We connected on webcam and she hadn’t changed, she was wearing sexy lingerie.  She asked if we could meet up so I went to her place the next day with some beers, a takeaway and a bunch of roses.  When I went in, she excused herself to change and came out wearing a short white dress and came straight on to me.  She was so confident, the sex was amazing.

I’ve agreed to be her lover, the other day we went to a party and she introduced me as her boyfriend.  She’s told me that she’s a beautician and often works late.  She says her ‘uniform’ consists of short skirts and low cut tops.  I’m worried she’s not being honest with me, do you think a relationship will work?

PuppyKilla says;

Woah, woah, woah.  Relationship?  Are you out of your fucking mind?  Well done for getting the old bird in the sack (your badge is in the post), but relationship..?  You’re having a fucking laugh.

You get your mate’s mum down to her knickers on webcam and then turn up the next day with flowers..?  You are a first-class mug.  She is obviously a dirty old slapper.  Next time you go round, go with nothing but a boner and a cheeky smile.  Get the job done and get the fuck out.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Comedy

2 responses to “Agony Uncle…

  1. This was fucking hilarious!
    Nice job on the blog all around, the dubstep tips are well appreciated.
    Definitely going to follow you.
    ❤ Your Kitty
    ohmymassilia.wordpress.com

  2. Laura

    Funny as fuck, your advice – classic!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s